I miss you

I miss you in a different way -
It's not yearning,
nor longing
nor hurting
as that of before.

Rather...
It's more of solemn stillness
and echoed sadness
brought by waves of simple,
nagging nostalgia -
summernights, and endless dreams,
floating...
floating against the distant light.

Clear and certain,
I miss you...
Not with the tears
that I've shed before,
tears that used to grow,
pounding my head
in confusing beats -
throbbing,
piercing,
tearing me to pieces.

I miss you in a different way,
for now,
I forgive myself
for missing you too much,
too deep,
and once... too soon.

I miss you,
Not with denial
as that of the past,
rather,
its more of me accepting
what i refused to know
What I've failed to see before.

I miss you,
and now i am at peace,
now that I finally see
why you're not with me -

cause now, at last,
I understand...
you are where you should be.

(2003)