lesson learned.

Slowly, I try to drown these thoughts

no hurries, I own all the time I need

desperate for any sense of urgency

in removing the sense in you and me

neding to heal this heart so burned,

another painful lesson learned.

Far is where I find myself,

caged in empty walls of air

finding peace I long to earn,

another painful lesson learned.

there, out in the bright horizon

is the blue print for a sacred apology

the one I viewed but barely heard...

another painful lesson learned.

Circus

i feel

this inexplainable need

to escape

from what?
I ask my tired mind

I am cradled in silence
amidst the laughter
and pleasant echoes
of vibrant life

I still still,
waiting for the answer
that never arrives.

September (sonnet)

September enters and I'm still alone
My lips give flight to words that die unheard
I ask my soul to breathe as day begins
Pretending every minute doesn't hurt
At night I contemplate on your return
I fall asleep with memories that burn:
To hold forever not with compromise
The way you held my future in your eyes.
I fail to disenchant my fears away
I watch as numbness dance with all my pain
This game of hide and seek has gone too long
I find my solace trapped in Billy's song
I mourn, for things will never be the same
I call you, but instead, September came.




...

ode to the absent

I haven't met you
but I'm glad
that you're not here

I have to fall out of love
with being too alone

besides,
waiting gives me reason
not to want
to self-destruct.

and when you arrive,
my dreams will cease existing
only in blessed starlight,
painted upon the heavens
of pure abandon-
eagerly listless,
stagnantly drawn

languidly
I succumb to sleep's embrace
conscious that waking hours
are nothing more than destined steps
leading to the moment
when I'd be ready:
when, finally...
you will find me.

know for certain
that the future will never bring me fear
for it is the masterpiece
that cradles you.

you need not understand now
and I need not make it clear-

for now:

I'm grateful not to know you,
I'm glad that you're not here.

binary

tonight I must try harder
to soften this silent tone

free from all disguises
that I have learned to own

bring in the newest addition
to my growing collection-

a thousand lonely empty nights
of driving home alone.

Everytime the Night Forgets

the sky is a little bit darker
the air, a little bit colder
the world, a little rougher
at times when The Night forgets.

as helpless as I can be,

I struggle a little bit harder

desperately trying even my worst lies,
hoping to hold back the sea of tears
residing in my eyes -

yet I fail,
Every time The Night forgets.

and at the zenith,
the last piercing moment
that leads me to unbearable melancholy
I see your reflection in my tears-

and I remember You.

and in this sacred space
I cleanse myself of all that is ugly
in respect for the beauty of your memory

and I pray until all my tears are gone-
I forgive the world for moving on...

Every time The Night forgets.

incandescent

tonight
I bridge the distance
between us

tonight
I choose to recollect your pieces.

the air dances
in strong agreement

In understanding
it paints itself with hues of brilliant sepia
and I am encouraged
by its approval

I open the suitcase
where I've hidden your radiance
and I am invaded
by this army-
an intoxicating awareness
of what was once you,
and what was once
you and me.

an eye blinks
and we are one rainbow-

visibly
I become the invisible lines
that guard the secret fractals
of your seamless spectrum

an eye blinks

and you become the gentle rhythm
of a haunting heartbeat -
a lonely tone in desolation,
dazed
yet, never alone
for I've become the silence
entwined with your pulse
in an eternal embrace-

exactly what you find
when
once more

an eye blinks

and I am with you instantly:

you
this melancholic echo-
and me
the very spaces in-between
everytime that you repeat.