Friday, June 16, 2017


He makes me feel 
like Fire 
and Ice 
all at once

I am repelled at how
I am desperately,
infinitely attracted, 
Dependent now 
On the resolution 
Of all his contradictions

Impatiently,  I lovingly wait. 

And in his eyes
Lifetimes of deceitful truths 
And honest lies
Swirl around without a sound- 

that I have found,
Addressed for only me to see-

and longing to be free

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Monday, August 11, 2014


the question is

to block certain thoughts
When I look at the clock

"oh, he's still asleep"
"He must be awake now"
"it's 1:43,
time to remind him of me"


to stop longing for him
to see what I see

"look baby,
the moon tonight is lovely-
remember how we named him Jerry?'

to want hard enough
not to want
this yearning.

to start erasing
each and every Mark


when he is tattooed everywhere-
glistening in the sun,
glowing in the dark.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

We are dusty fragments of the same story,
You and me
with miles of possibilities that will and won't be
the heaviest of empty spaces in-between us -
the only certainty we're allowed carry

I wish I had rubber arms that can stretch as wide as the world
so I can knock on your door
deliver myself the kisses I blow-
I stopped trusting the wind a long time ago

What is love anyway
but block-frozen emotions set in cotton:
stocks shipped to oblivion,
floating in transit in this sea of truth and un-truth
in this place where nothing is real but these:

 1. patterns of musical haze,

2.the eternal vastness of this god-forsaken space

and lastly, this

3. Judas, this cycle of yearning -


Saturday, December 01, 2012

When You Start it's Hard to Stop/Trapped

To learn little by little 
with infinite time,
insurmountable space
to my personal mime
languid, ethereal
imprisoned, cerebral
idyllic enchantment-
 are you ephemeral?
In search for denouement
imprisoned in verses
forgive how I'm toxic
and strangely quixotic
I'm still quite fragmented
and you're tessellated
ubiquitous lassitude
bound and unaided
If this leads to pathos
well, I'm already jaded
If this leads to elation,
I can be over sated
this fixation, I'm wishing
to meet its cessation,
like this maddening rhyming
I'm now terminating.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

You Remind Me of Someone that I Don't Remember

You remind me of someone that I don't remember
every time I hear your voice I feel I've heard it before
In a rush of warm familiarity you are endeared to me
And every note in your warm tone is a rediscovered memory

I feel like I've been where we are
In this space of knowing and not knowing and learning
And your smile is a smile I feel I've previously seen
Nostalgia's embrace, all consuming

You remind me of someone that I don't remember
and every time I hear your words I feel I've held them close before
it whispers back to me, this dull ache, this blunt joy
a discarded truth I feel I'm again to employ

Its still in my fingertips, the curve of familiar lips
And without sense I search your face for my fingerprints
and when you laugh I hear the points where our voices embraced
are they neon intimations of impressions erased?

You remind me of someone that I don't remember
and a part of my heart itches and burns, trying to recollect
in a maze with an undertone of confusion and regret-
with no answers allowed to give me solace
not now, not just yet.

Saturday, November 19, 2011


come with me
and leave for a while the world 
that finds it so easy to forget you

At Dawn We'd be in Ireland
Me, where I am, with you in my mind
in a plane that relies on my command
on when to fly and when to land 
or when to fall
beyond the wall of clouds
I hear the invisible ticking of that digital clock
dots appearing in liquid air 
reminding us that this won't last
as much as we need it to
as much as I need it to

Exactly like how time is never enough 
where we used to be
where we always return
where we are trapped 
immobile in that cruel joke

Life should be the dream
and we escape by waking up to this:

chaos and colors smiling in perfect harmony
in seats suspended a thousand miles above land
flying not in worry nor uncertainty
your hand resting on my hand
Ireland below us
three moons above us
in a purple sky with blue stars 
Where we are always safe
where peace in me is what you find
where I can always read your mind

Where it happens all at once
where time we never had and time we will have
are all present in this moment
that stretches to the ends of infinity
and laughter is laughter that never retires
and tears are merely tears never stained with fear
no thoughts of leaving and being left behind
no thoughts of keeping and being kept aside

Where you look into my eyes
and you see your eyes 
reflecting the secrets of my soul
stories that only you can bear to contain
without judgement or effort
because my stories are your stories
here, where you and me
are one and the same
your hand resting on my hand
The universe smiling above us
Ireland below us,
patiently waiting
until its time for me 

to wake up.

Thursday, June 30, 2011


I long to be able to listen
to songs i used to love
without apparitions of moments
tainted by the intensity
of your memory

oh! to be cured of you
and the light of your extremes

where no fragrance is off limits-
where pleasant scents
are not betrayals
but smiles waiting to blossom
no nostalgia to wrestle with,
no deep inhaling and closing of the eyes
revealing confusing hopes of reliving
refusing, inviting


oh! to be cured of you
and the light of your extremes

where the pleasant past is not a myth
where senses are not stolen
traded to a bitter future void of warm sensation
void of truth, sound and hue
void of you.

to be full of hope once more
to live, breathe, taste and feel
the little remaining of my fleeting youth
to once again be drunk with life
and everything I once held true

oh! to be cured of you
and the light of your extremes.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011



when you told me then, that you were 34
and that you looked at the stars for comfort
your voice caused an invisible blanket
of intense unsettling energy
to swirl into existence
suddenly appearing through the air from nothingness
its unseen colors lingering a bit
before tickling my ear and entering my head
a doubt-killing arrow
whose fingers shocked my hollow brain
into sudden alertness

I could bridge the gap of 10 years.
10 years would be easy.

I could add beauty and color in your projected gray life

I could be your salt.

laugh-er and listener extraordinaire
the fresh pure breeze of youth you seem to always feel you've lost
contrast to the chaos you've lived to rant about
to write about

maybe I could amuse, or better yet, amaze you
and enter the hourglass of your life,
wedging myself in the middle, to block the falling sand
disarm you with wit I thought I had


You are 36.
and 10 years seem to stretch farther and farther
you move too fast, and I can't keep up

you and me,
we are in this space
where time is nothing but distance.

as I remember,
a mosaic of sharpened dull emotions shape-shifts

unfounded optimism
unbearable lightness
shy, certain, earnest confidence

is now a montage of moments
moving inside this archaic analog film strip
playing on a slow loop inside my head
slow enough that I can count each hole on its sides
slow enough that each divider is not a divider
but prison bars in a lonely cell

slower so I can analyze and analyze
so slow it stopped making sense
so slow
I am

bound in the infinite frames
of an endless instant

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

night meditation

there is darkness
and the lone voice of a teacher miles away
preaching presence and stillness,
the importance of nothingness-
hidden in the background I hear him
I even listen

he hails emptiness
and slightly, I am proud-
It's all I have

I saved a few minutes
going through the rounds
desperately searching for that
which may comfort my frozen soul

sticks and music
in this space where you once were

when there is kindness and mercy
I drift to that place
where I am almost asleep
and I am beside you

I feel the night finally embracing me
before I feel it slip through my tired fingers
like vapor summoned by the waning moon

stolen by a sun that came too soon